It's 10 days until my due date. Whut?

In the meantime I have a doctor's appointment today at 5 pm. I am curious to see what they say because I was in the hospital on Saturday for a "false alarm"! I thought some amniotic fluid had leaked out, as I experienced some liquid action that was not like anything I have ever had before. And it definitely wasn't pee. So we called the doctor and she told me to get to the hospital and have it checked out. Once I got there, they said it wasn't amniotic fluid...and I suppose they ARE the professionals, but I can't help but feel like it had to be? I mean, what else was it? But I guess it doesn't really matter. Baby still looked fine and fluid levels were normal so everything was safe. They sent me home and that was that. They DID say that I was appx. 2 cm dilated though, which I wasn't 5 days prior to that at my checkup. So at least that means something was indeed going on. I didn't feel quite so crazy after that!

It's my last week in the office for awhile, which is pretty damn awesome. I won't be back here until some time in October I'd guess, maybe even November. My boss was talking about letting me work from home for an extra couple/few weeks to make up for the fact that I'll be working from home a little earlier than planned (some time in late September) to cover for my partner who is having her baby at that time. Crazy right? I'm not THRILLED about having to start up working again earlier than that 3 month ideal in my head, but, it's really not too bad. Working from home equates to doing my illustrations when they come in, but also playing Fallout 3 when inbetween figures. Though, I will have the baby to take care of, and Xbox will likely have to wait. LOL. And, the work load will be heavier since I'll be doing the work of 2 people. Ah well. I will not worry about that now. I'm still going to get a full, uninterrupted 2 months with the duder, maybe even a bit more. And then when I come back to the office fer realz, I'll only be here 3 days a week, as I am PRETTY SURE they approved our working from home 2 days a week scheme. Nice.

What else is going on? Well truthfully, aside from baby stuff, not too much. It's taken over our lives but I'm not complaining. Well, I stretched up to 7/16" after thinking it would be impossible, so I am on the hunt for new jewelry for my lobes. One of the first things I got were the Anatometal gemmed eyelets I so love. They're pricey but oh so worth it. I've also picked up some Glasswear Studios things (in the mail to me now) like Andromeda Planet plugs (can't wait to see these) and some diamond Galaxy plugs. Took a chance on some rainbow fluorite plugs and also some white pearl Kaos eyelets, which I have been drooling over. I hope they all look awesome in real life. I told myself 7/16" is where I am stopping. I started buying a lot of stuff to make myself believe it. I THINK I will stick here, but the larger sizes are so tempting. I see all this gorgeous stuff and though my size looks nice, bigger always seems to be better. I've stumbled upon some awesome mirror-style plugs called Luciferins, luciferins designed/made/handled by someone here on LJ...I NEED THEMMMMM. I missed the first batch but I am SO IN on the next. Beautiful!

This past weekend was Melissa's wedding. It went off without a hitch and they seemed really happy so that was all that mattered. I had a good time but being 8.5 months pregnant and a bridesmaid at a wedding isn't the easiest thing in the world, ha. I still managed to make it through the whole day and it was a good time all in all! 4th of July was spent in the aforementioned hospital, and then seeing The Hangover in the evening. Too funny. Sunday we saw Public Enemies (2 films in 2 days - whoa). I liked it but I didn't love it. I can't put my finger on exactly what I didn't love...I think I would have liked it if they had built up Dillinger's persona more. It might have been unrealistic, but I dunno..I wanted him to be more iconic/larger than life. Oh well.

xx kim

Whew! My appointment the other day was fine! I had a "biophysical profile", which according to WebMD is this:

"A biophysical profile (BPP) test measures the health of your baby (fetus) during pregnancy. A BPP test may include a nonstress test with electronic fetal heart monitoring and a fetal ultrasound. The BPP measures your baby's heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of amniotic fluid around your baby."

They said the fluid was back up to around 10, which is good news! So as for right now they are sending the results to my regular OB and we'll take it from there. I'm assuming they'll say there is no need for worry - though I suppose by next week things could change again. Either way, I feel a lot better and I think everything will be cool. I guess it really was just a fluke that the fluid went down!

Crazy!

New hair, too. Woot.

It is one month until my due date! CRAZY! I can't believe how quickly it has gone. I had a check up yesterday, which went well but also brought some semi-nerve wracking info.

I went in for the sonogram first as usual. She didn't notice anything odd or say that anything looked strange. She estimated him at 5 pounds, 2 ounces which means he gained less than half a pound in 2 weeks, which I suppose with the diabeetus, is good news. He is still pretty much in the middle of the growth chart for his gestational age and so, that is perfect.

Then I went into the exam room where they did my weight and blood pressure. I lost 3 more pounds! Which means I've lost about 5 since a month and a half ago, and my total weight gain so far since the beginning of the pregnancy is 12 pounds. Not bad. Blood pressure was also normal, which it always is. They hooked me up again to the non-stress testing machine, which monitors the baby's heart rate and your uterine contractions for about 20 minutes, and spits out a graph with the peaks and valleys as time passes. The doc came in about 15 minutes into it and said the heart rate looked very good. It fluctuated a decent amount which he said is what they look for...they want to see a "responsive baby" whose heart rate changes as they move, relax, etc. The contractions (or lack thereof) also looked good. But then he said that the amniotic fluid was a little lower than he would like, as compared to the last visit.

I don't know exactly what units they use to measure it, ounces? Centimeters? Either way, he said 2 weeks ago it was 11. Yesterday it was 8. Which, supposedly is still normal and safe, BUT, he thinks it's a bit odd it dropped 3 points in only 2 weeks. And since I am on special monitoring because of the diabeetus, he thought it was worth looking into and being safe as opposed to sorry. So, he's having me go back to the other office :/ I can't complain much, though. I want to make sure the dude is safe and sound. Plus, at this rate I knew I'd be having weekly visits, so it's not huge deal for me to have to go to the other place as opposed to the regular office. I of course would rather not, since I hated them, but, I couldn't argue. He says they have more specialized equipment there or something. They're going to do another ultrasound there and see what they find when it comes to the fluid.

The doc said there is a 50/50 chance it was just a fluke, and that it will go back up. It could have been something as silly as the baby hadn't peed in awhile (nice, I am a human toilet). But, he also said that if I lose much more (like it goes to a 5), it could possibly mean something is going on with the placenta and how it gets the fluids/nutrients to the baby? And once that starts to happen, it won't repair itself, it would only get worse? Or an internal leak. So, IF it drops to a low number by next Tuesday, he said they MIGHT consider inducing me early for the safety of the baby (and I guess myself, too).

I am trying to remain calm because he was not an alarmist. He made it sound like it SHOULD be fine. But, there is a chance it's not, so we have to be careful. Even if the baby comes early, I guess it's not too bad. It just makes me a bit nervous because next Tuesday I will be 36 weeks and 4 days along. They technically consider a baby before 37 weeks to be premature. I know this is more of a "label" at this point, but I don't really love the idea of him popping out a few weeks early and not getting as much grow-time inside as he needs. But, if it means his ultimate safety then it's obviously the better choice. I also don't think that next Tuesday, even if the # is low, that they will be like "OMG, INDUCTION NOWWWWWWW!!!". They will need to consult with my regular doc and schedule it and all that jazz. Which will likely push me past the 37 week mark. Also, since the baby is measuring well, moving a lot and the heart rate is good, the doc thinks he's doing fine. If he were in distress and all this crap was happening, there would be a lot more reason for concern. I asked why this happens and if drinking more water would help, LOL. He said no, it's not anything to do with my fluid intake, unless, I was medically dehydrated. Which I am not. It just happens? I don't even think it's related to the diabeetus. Sheesh.

Oh and then to add onto it, Sean has to go on a small business trip starting Sunday. He comes back Wednesday evening and I really don't think anything terribly time-sensitive will happen, but it doesn't make either one of us feel better about the whole thing. Especially him, but I can't be mad or upset that he's going...it's a big part of this project he's been working really hard on for weeks and it just has to happen. Obviously, if anything goes down on Tuesday, he'll race home, but I think that is unlikely. All we can do is wait and see. I sure do hope I don't have to give birth 3 weeks early but I suppose it could be worse? At least I'd get to meet my little bad seed a little earlier than anticipated....

Holy shithouse, I haven't posted here in awhile. Not that anyone really reads it anyhow?

Things are good with me. The baby is due in 36 days, which pretty much blows my mind. The pregnancy has been generally good, no major complaints aside from the gestational diabetes I found out I have (which is temporary). There are things like the fact I can't move around as easily, or bend over to tie my shoes as effectively, etc...but it's not a huge deal.

We are naming him Henry James Caesar. I love the name and hope it suits him well. I think it's obvious where most of the "inspiration" for it comes from.

The house is mostly prepared for his arrival, though there are still some things I'd like to do before he gets here. The yard is a big one but I don't think it's going to get done as well as I might like. There's always hiring landscapers, but I think it will be too expensive. Who knows. My baby shower a couple of weeks ago was lovely and we got so many gifts from everyone, that there wasn't much left for me to buy! We got the furniture a bunch of weeks ago, painted the room, etc. so it's pretty much set. So crazy.

I'm a little nervous about the actual birth, but I'm keeping optimistic and trying not to think of all the "gross" aspects of it. The pain is going to be...interesting I am sure. But I am curious to see how I handle it all and hope I can make the best of it. My mom had 3 "easy" deliveries so I hope that some of those genetics rub off on me. I can only wait.

Aside from that obvious huge thing going on, life is pretty good. I am hopefully going to see Depeche Mode in August...I bought the tickets knowing I might not make it because it's only a couple of weeks after I am supposed to give birth. But, I didn't want to NOT buy the tickets and kick myself later, so I went for it. I am going on August 3rd and 4th (my 30th birthday!). We'll see how it goes. I was pretty annoyed that they were coming so close to my due date but it's not like it's their fault! Dave's recent illness and tumor situation was quite scary but I think he's going to be fine. After all the other crap he's been through in life, I am sure he can conquer this, too.

The Bad Seeds films are finally being released...I was not in the first 4 so I haven't yet seen what I look like or sound like. I am quite scared I look like a dumbass! But I have to wait and see. Iain and Jane have said that we're going to get copies of the films we are in - yay! I think they are putting finishing touches on #5, Tender Prey as we speak. I may be in that one, as I spoke about The Mercy Seat. Hmmm. There is going to be a showing of it, and a discussion with both Iain and Jane as well as Nick in the UK on 6/17. Damn! Wish I could be there. Maybe Nick will comment on the lovely girl with the black bob in the film, and how astute she was. LOLOLOL.

What else. My ear lobes are now up to 7/16", which I didn't expect so soon. I thought for sure I was stuck at 00g. But then one day they just slid in. In fact, the plugs I am wearing with a front flare fell out the other day! But the pair of 1/2" plugs I have didn't quite fit in. But it shows they are loosening up quickly. I don't know if I should stay at 7/16" or go for 1/2", which was my old goal that I gave up on. We shall see. I've had to abandon some of my piercings for the sake of the baby/pregnancy. Like my navel (thank ye gods I took it out anyhow, because the skin is stretched so tight there), my nipples (safety for breastfeeding) and I also removed my fairly young monroe. I liked it but I felt like it was a focal point on my face, and not in a good way. Ah well. Plus, as stupid as this sounds, I guess I didn't want to be the "overly modded" mom. Not that I really care what people think, but I guess I just figured certain things could get removed and I'd be better off. I'm still very happy with all my tattoos and remaining piercings so it's a good thing.

Well I guess that's all for now. Better get back to work. Joy of joys!

xxxx

I'm wearing corduroy pants today and I keep getting amused by the way they make noise as I walk. Sometimes it doesn't take much!

Anyhow it's time for some ramblings.

I'm morphing back into the Long Islander I originally was slowly but surely. Yesterday we did a bit of shopping (what a good way to celebrate my black heritage)...actually we did a lot of shopping. I came home from the mall with Juicy Couture pants. I used to have a handful of pairs a few years and quite a few pounds ago, but threw them out when we moved because they didn't fit, and, did I really want velour, fuschia colored pants any more? I thought I was over them. But, yesterday Bloomingdale's had a 40% off rack in the Juicy section and I was pulled in like the damn thing had a tractor beam. Who can resist a sale on overpriced clothing? So, I bought me some. Phase 1 of assimilation complete.

Then, like a moron, I decided I needed Ugg boots. Oh yes. The ones I swore were ugly, over-rated and overpriced. Kind of like the Crocs I said I'd never own, but bought anyway (they're the mary jane ones so it's OKAY). I toyed with the idea of buying them a few years ago when they became 'hot', but decided it wasn't worth it...no, the real truth was, they were impossible to buy in stores and I just gave up because it wasn't worth mauling a grown woman over a pair of shearling boots. No store in the mall yesterday had them in either my size or a color I wanted. Get home and decide to look online. But feeling unsure still, I didn't buy them because I wasn't 100% sure of my size and I got pre-buyers remorse. Today at work I thought I'd pop over to a store on Broadway and see what they had. Lo and behold they had a much better selection than Nordstrom's in the mall did. Probably because it wasn't constantly bombarded with 14 year old girls from Manhasset looking to spend dad's money. They had my size (7) in my color (black) and the style I wanted (ones a little cooler than the 'classic' boot). A good chunk of change and some pride later, I walked out of the store a new Ugg customer. Phase 2 of assimilation complete.

I don't, however, feel too bad about these purchases. Lately, with the baby on the way, I am all about being comfortable. And while you might not agree that they were worthwhile or even stylish choices (I'm still justifying this in my head with positive thinking), there's no denying that they are comfortable. I'm also running out of time to splurge on myself. So, credit card bill be damned, I'm in search of comfy, stereotypical Long Island girl clothes. I'll probably even hit the Juicy outlet in Deer Park sometime within the next week. Button-less pants sure are nice when your waistline is expanding. Could I wear comparable pants that are much less expensive from Target, Old Navy, etc? Yes, I could. And I do own clothes from those stores. I'm not above it. But sometimes buying stupidly, overpriced and overly trendy stuff feels GOOD. It's all part of being a woman. Or maybe just human.

So now that we are discussing the baby in public, I can mention them here. I solemnly swear not to become the overbearing, "Let's talk about my child every 5 minutes", "Oh isn't he/she the CUTEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?!" mom. I will try not to bore you with details a non-parent could give a crap about, and if I do make a baby-heavy post I will warn you previous. We are of course very, very excited and thrilled to be parents, and I don't have any shame in my happiness, but I also know that not everyone on earth cares to be bombarded with my baby gaga-ness.

We will not be purchasing a mini-van as long as I can help it. I know I said it about the Uggs, but this is serious business. If you want to touch my stomach for whatever reason, please ask me first otherwise I might punch you. Don't suggest we name the baby Julius or Sid. We've heard it, and it's not original. I don't need to hear horror stories of other births. Yes, I am aware that it will probably hurt. That was kind of a given! I also realize 'my life will never be the same', but I like to think this will be a good thing. I'm an independent person (when it comes to some things) and don't like to be told what to do.

On the other hand, feel free to suggest baby products or any sort of tips! As a first time mom, I can use experienced opinions and advice. I apologize in advance if I am cranky or hormonal some days; it kind of comes with the territory. I'll love to hear stories about your own child/niece/nephew and how you all experience their growing up. We can share smiles and tears and it will be great. I know it.

xxoo kim

So what if the world economy is failing? Our next president remains undecided? Energy crisis? Sometimes we need a break from all that 'important stuff' - I personally choose to assuage myself with a picture blog. Maybe I'm the only one who'll get a laugh/twitch from it but it remains to be seen...

xxoo kimmy

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::copied from mah fan page::

Whew - I am back and finally settled from a whirlwind week! Thought I'd share my goings-on if you care to read about them!

Last week was lovingly dubbed 'Nick-a-palooza' by my friend Rachelle and I - and it lived up to the name! It started on Tuesday September 30th. I had my appointment to film with Iain & Jane for the remasters/DVD film project entitled "Do You Love Me Like I Love You?". Once I arrived at the studio I was greeted by Matthew who works with them. We chatted a bit while they finished up with the person who was ahead of me. He was a gentleman and helped calm my nerves! Once they were ready for me I went in and met Iain who was manning the computers/fancy equipment outside the filming space. I was led into a small room where the camera and lights were set up. I met Jane and their lighting man (I unfortunately can't remember his name but he was very nice). They sat me down and tested the lights to make sure my hair looked as good as possible against the backdrop, ha! I was already getting hot. We commenced pretty quickly. Jane was behind the camera. She was great and though I couldn't help but be nervous with a large camera in my face, she helped make me feel relaxed. We spent about 40 minutes filming my anecdotes/stories/feelings about a handful of songs. I had notes but under the gun, I forgot a lot of what I had wanted to say! Nonetheless I think it went well and despite my sweatiness by the end, I think it will be great! Iain & Jane were wonderful people as was their team. You can tell they are just as passionate about the band as anyone and I think it shows in their work. Really lovely people and I am honored to be part of their project. Here's to hoping I don't look too silly on film. I guess I'll find out next year!

Wednesday I flew up to Toronto, Canada, to see the Bad Seeds show at Kool Haus, and to visit my friend Rachelle. We met through being Bad Seeds fans so it was quite appropriate! She picked me up at the airport in the afternoon and we killed some time back at her place before heading into the big city for the show. The line was wrapped around the venue when we arrived but once inside we still managed to get a nice viewing spot. As this was my first 'full' Bad Seeds show I was very excited. Once they came out the place went nuts and the show was truly on. They sounded amazing. I can't remember the set list in order but I was surprised (and overjoyed) to hear The Ship Song. Also Love Letter and The Weeping Song, which I didn't expect. Songs like Tupelo and The Mercy Seat were so intense, especially by their end. Nick was quite interactive with the crowd and made everyone laugh by dubbing a girl in the audience "the keeper of the towel". The show ended with Stagger Lee and I think by this point everyone was blown away completely and totally.

After the show we waited around to go backstage with the passes I was graciously given by a certain bluebird I am in contact with. Once admitted, the feeling of being starstruck came over us in a flash. Even though I got to meet them in March, this seemed more intimate and small. The room had no more than 15 guests in it at it's peak, I'd guess. We were treated to some beers and first chatted with Mick who is a gentleman and a sweetheart. Nick appeared quite tired and announced he'd be leaving soon, so I figured I should make my move before it was too late. I didn't want to be a nuisance as I am constantly paranoid about that - but as he went to collect his jacket I stopped him to say hello. I gave him a letter I had written to him, and he thanked me and put it in his pocket. He found his coat and we took 2 photos together. Then he took one with Rachelle and was pretty much on his way. I can't blame him for being tired and wanting/needing to go. At this point we didn't know if we should simply say hello to the rest of the boys and be on our way, as we didn't want to overstay our welcome. But more beers were offered to us by the attentive and kind Bad Seeds and so, we relaxed and things became more 'normal'.

In the end we sat around with Conway, Matthew their sound man and Marty, while Mick, Thomas and Jim chatted with others, drinking and smoking and having a blast. I got to spend a little time talking with them all (except Warren, who left when Nick did) and they are each wonderful in their own unique way. True gentlemen in every sense of the word, they made us laugh, smile and have a night I know we will never forget. At one point I looked around and realized we were the only 2 non-band people in the room! But they never made us feel like we needed to leave. We all stayed until the car arrived to pick them up and take them back to the hotel. They made sure we had a safe way home and weren't hesitating to call us a cab or find us a safe ride. I told them I would see them on Saturday in NYC. Hugs and kisses and we were on our way. I don't think we stopped talking about it until Friday when I left for home. The photos are in the 'Fan Encounters' album.

Saturday my husband and I met up with my dear friend Angela, whom I also met through being a fan, and her friend Joe. We secured our aftershow passes and entered the general admission section of the WaMu theatre. We managed to be only one person back from the barricade a bit to the right of center (second row, if you will) so my view was much better than in Toronto. I'm pretty short so it's hard sometimes! I met Jennifer from the page, who travelled al the way form Texas! She was a sweetheart and I am throughly convinced that Bad Seeds fans are the best in the world. Before we knew it they were on and the excitement was so so high. There is nothing quite like being at the feet of an idol of yours while he sings his heart out. They sounded wonderful again and the sound seemed better than it did in Toronto so that was a bonus. They didn't play The Ship Song but they did do God Is In The House so it was a beautiful trade off. Love Letter brought tears to my eyes this time around. The classics like Red Right Hand and Deanna sounded perfect. Everything seemed more grand than possible and even though I thought Toronto was great, they managed to blow themselves away yet again.

Afterwards we went to the area where the party was being held. Let's just say it was a much more hectic event this time around. As opposed to a handful of people, there were probably over 100 there. We had some drinks and waited for the boys to appear. Once they did, people flocked to them but everyone seemed pretty courteous of each other and everyone got their chance to say their hellos. I first saw Nick and asked him if he had happened to read my letter. He said "Oh! You're the girl from the internet who runs that webpage, right?" I said yes (as my head spun) and he told me that he did read it, and thought it was very sweet and it meant a lot to him. I think he either kissed my forehead or touched my face or put his arm around me or SOMETHING but I simply cannot remember as I was in too much of a daze. Then he even said he was sorry for being "brisk" in Toronto but he was just tuckered out. I told him he had nothing to apologize for. We got a photo and he was pulled away to talk to other people he knew. I think I was shaking as my husband tried to calm me down - I was just so overjoyed that I got to talk to him one-on-one, even for that short time. And that he had something personal and sweet to say to me? Well, it was beyond words. I know he won't remember me in the long run but it was a moment I will always treasure.

The rest of the 2 hour party was spent hanging out with the rest of the boys and friends of ours. We made some new acquaintances, too. Though there were many more people there, some of whom were old friends of the band, they all still made the time to talk to me/us again. Conway took my hand and bowed to me when we said hello again. Thomas pinched my cheek. I got a hug from Matthew. A kiss from Mick. It all went so fast but I can't complain at all. We stayed until we got kicked out by the staff. Spilling out onto the NYC streets with some of the Bad Seeds at your side is quite the experience. There was an after-after party downtown. We went but it seemed no one was there once we got there, and it was so crowded and hot in the place that we decided to call it a night.

I'm recounting this all not to gloat or to brag, but just so you can perhaps feel a little of how I felt this past week. To have had these opportunities is something I cannot thank those responsible enough for. I think if you have a chance to meet a band you love, there is a slight fear in the back of your head that they won't live up to what you have in your head about them. But with these men, all of them - not just Nick, I was truly treated like a friend and for that they have not only lived up to my expectations but exceeded them. I know in the grand scheme of things I am a 'nobody' but they were kind enough to make me feel special, despite not owing me anything. Their music is what draws me to them, but to have the added experience of sharing time with them really has solidified how important they are in my life. I will go to my grave cherishing this past week and how it has made me feel. I'm even getting a little misty eyed writing this all out! I hope you all get the chance one day!

Love always, kimmy

WHUT!!!


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I made this for a laugh. That is all.

You guessed it...Dave!



Man I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I love having the puppy but she sure wears you out! Work is so slooooowwwwww.

xx kim

Wow, I totally met Dave Gahan AND he gave me a kiss to boot!



*I clearly have lost my mind. Or, work is just THAT boring today...you decide!

We have a new family member - Miss Lucille Caesar!

We have been going to the North Shore Animal League for weeks now, looking for a second dog. Now that we have a house, we thought it's a good time to get a pal for Jack. We originally thought we wanted to go the route we took with him - find a young (but not puppy) dog who was appx. his size and hopefully have the same temperament. We did want a puppy, but thought it might be too risky or too much trouble for us. Each trip over the past few weeks didn't prove successful. We saw lots of sweet dogs but they were either too young, too old, too big, didn't get along with other dogs, etc.

Thursday night we took a trip over there, this time with Jack in the car in case he had to meet a potential pal. We saw a sweet little spaniel (they labeled her as Cocker Spaniel but I think she looked more like a King Charles) who was 2 years old. She seemed perfect. We took her out to play with her and it turned out she had just been returned to the Animal League because she was fearful of men, and the family who took her couldn't deal with it. However, she seemed to like Sean and was okay when we (quickly) introduced her to Jack. The place was closing for the night so we said we'd be back the next day to spend more time with her and probably take her home.

We got to talking though, and felt like it might be a problem, having to worry that she's be so scared all the time, of people who would come over the house, etc. But...we thought we'd go and see her again and give it a fair shot. We arrived at about 7pm and she wasn't there! We found out she had been out on one of their mobile adoption units and would be back around 8:30. We stuck around and ended up playing with some of the puppies. We happened upon a small yellow lab mix who seemed really nice. We took her out and she was pretty well behaved for a puppy. Very cute and cuddly and sweet. We fell in love and were in a dilemma. Should we really take a chance with a puppy? Was it mean to give up on the spaniel? What to do?

In the end, we decided to take her. It was crazy but just as much 'hassle' as a puppy could be, an adult dog with behavioral issues could have been a problem too. They checked our references (Thanks Mikey and Brian!) and congratulated us on being new owners. Woot! She fell asleep in my arms as we drove home, hopefully relieved to be going to a new home.

She is great!! She's going to the bathroom in the house but is learning already to use the pad things we got for her. We can't take her outside for another 2 months almost, as she isn't old enough to be fully vaccinated. She was scared of the steps on Saturday but Sunday she was going up and down them like a pro! She's learning quick and even though she's had a couple punky streaks, she's a puppy so you can't fault her for it. And mostly, she is a good little kid. Jack seems...confused by her. He has been so so good though. He seems to like her for the most part. He's not snapped or barked at her, or done anything 'mean'. They've played around a bit too, though I think her puppy rambunctiousness overwhelms him a tiny bit. He will get used to her I am sure, and he'll like having a buddy!

We named her Lucy after going through a couple girl names. Sean liked it a lot and so did I. Lucille is her full name but Lucy for short :D There's a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds song called Lucy which is quite beautiful so that's fun.

Last night I lay trembling
The moon it was low
It was the end of love
Of misery and woe

The suddenly above me
Her face buried in light
Came a vision of beauty
All covered in white

Now the bell-tower is ringing
And the night has stole past
O Lucy, can you hear me?
Wherever you rest

I'll love her forever
I'll love her for all time
I'll love her till the stars
Fall down from the sky
Now the bell-tower is ringing
And I shake on the floor
O Lucy, can you hear me?
When I call and call

Now the bell-tower is ringing
And the moon it is high
O Lucy, can you hear me
When I cry and cry and cry

Shane McGowan sings the main parts here but on the official track, it's all Nick.


♥

Oh Nicholas, how I love thee...new photos discovered online (thanks to Miss Edie) that are quite charming, I must say.

Loooooveeee this one.


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::fans self::

Oh lawdy. This video is hot. The girl can take a hike...she isn't necessary. I'm LOLing at the most recent comment on YouTube: "Man, he is a really bad dancer though."

http://www.youtube.com/v/83-me9iMMlY&hl=en&fs=1
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Bored at work, of course...

I've been perving over Dave Gahan lately...maybe it's the hormones surging in me currently but hot damn this man is sexy. His voice is enough to melt you into a puddle...and of course there's the physical evidence.

Fucking a


Beautiful suit on a beautiful man


....


%^&@!


This photographer had the right idea


Interesting tattoos


And he's got a nice smile


O HAI




He's one of those men who has gotten better looking as he's gotten older, I think. How do men manage to do that? Case in point:

1985 - hahaha dork


Note to self: never eat again.


xxoo kim

I don't mean to start off a post with negativity when so many good things are happening, but it's the thing most currently on my mind so here it goes.

I saw the psych yesterday for my usual monthly meeting. I told him I have been very unhappy about my weight, unhappy enough to stop wanting to take the medication altogether. Quitting/coming off of the Effexor would also be for the reason that if I become pregnant, I can't be taking the pills anyhow for the safety of the embyro/fetus. Since we're more realistically considering the child thing, I figure it's two good reasons to stop.

You might ask who would put their mental health over their looks. But the truth is, my weight gain since I've been taking the medication is enough to have a negative impact on my mental health, nearly erasing the good effects I feel from it. It sounds vain. But if you know me, you know I am the farthest thing from vain. My ego is fragile enough as it is. Being 20 pounds heavier than normal is enough to break it completely.

I'm not going to claim that I eat extremely healthy, or do a lot of exercise. But I can say that my habits haven't gotten so much worse since last year that it would warrant 20 extra pounds. I did some research and it seems Effexor (as well as most other anti-anxiety/anti-depressants) can cause large amounts of weight gain in people. I suppose I always knew this. But maybe I just thought it wouldn't happen to me. Either way, the extra weight has been killing me. It came on fairly quick - all of a sudden, one day it seemed like hardly any of my clothes fit me anymore and what did looked tight and ill-fitting. I had to buy all new clothes and a lot of the things that I'd like in the shops that would normally look good on me looked horrible. My self esteem has been really suffering. Sean has continued to tell me he thinks I am beautiful and for that I am grateful. I know he is serious. But it's hard for me to feel attractive when my short frame is carrying around extra baggage. I have noticed I'm walking differently because of it. I see my reflection in the windows of the subway cars and I feel disgusted. I try to cut back on 'bad' foods but it doesn't help. I don't feel like myself in this new body. It's disassociative and weird.

So, he is cutting me back on the pills - I started taking half my normal dosage today and should be off them completely by next month as long as all goes okay. I fear how my brain will react to no medication. But it's something I am going to have to do anyhow if I want a kid, so I know it's worth whatever comes my way. But just a few months ago I was telling the dr. that I wasn't sure I could function properly without it. I guess only time will tell. I certainly don't expect pity here - but perhaps if you've dealt with these issues too, you know where I am coming from. I am sure getting the extra weight off once I stop will take some work...but we are having an elliptical machine delivered to the house this weekend so I plan to use that thing on a usual basis. We shall see. Wish me luck because I sure as hell need it.

ANYHOW.

On the bright side, I'm loving everything else about life right now. The house is SO GREAT. We are so so happy there and know it was the best decision. It's really feeling like our home and not just some house we dumped all our stuff into. We're still getting used to it of course, but it's quickly becoming our little haven for relaxation and fun so I know it's going to be wonderful. The town is great so far and we're having fun discovering all these new things. Last weekend we found a really nice park by the water with a dog run, so we took Jack there for some interaction/fun with other dogs. Really good. Finding all the good shops, places to eat, things to do...it's a lot of fun. It's also a little exhausting but in a good way. I love being closer to my family and the ability for them to pop over easily. I hope to have people over for a casual party soon, before our big housewarming bash. We shall see! All I know is - we've got our stereotypical piece of the American Dream pie - but it's awesome and I wouldn't trade it!

xx kim

Wow...life has been pretty awesome lately and I feel the need to share.

Where to start? This weekend was quite fun. Saturday Sean went out with the boys to NJ so I went into Brooklyn to see Ghostland Observatory with Josh from work. The trip there was a long and treacherous one (ok, long, yes...treacherous, not really). But it was soooo worth it. The 2 opening bands weren't anything special but that's to be expected. at 9:15 Ghostland came on and it was like being transported to another planet. The lasers and strobes were insane and the music was so so good. We danced our asses off for an hour and 15 minutes with all the other Brooklynites and it was a fucking blast. I wasn't super familiar with their music but I knew some stuff as Sean got into them recently. But after the show and listening to them since, I hath declared my love for the Ghostland. How can you not love this?





Aaron (the singer) has some serious dance moves.

After the show we went into Manhattan to meet up with Kenny aka K. Sizzle, and his crew. Kenny also works with us and he is fucking hilarious. His roommates/friends what were there were quite cool so we all had a blast drinking it up and dancing like fools. Got home late and spent most of yesterday really tired but it was worth it!

IN HOUSE NEWS: We are FINALLY closing this week! In fact, tonight is the 'walk through' at the co-op (the real estate agents take you through to make sure everything is in order before you make the purchase). Tomorrow at 2 pm we close on the co-op and it is officially sold. Then at 6:30 pm we go to the Seaford house and do our walk through. Then Wednesday at 11 am we close on the house. And then it is ours! We're going to work on Thursday and Friday and then taking off the whole next week. Which will give us a full 9 days away from the office to work on everything. I cannot wait! It's going to be a ton of work and craziness but at least we'll finally own the thing and we'll be able to start making it not just a house but our home.

Something very exciting is happening in the Bad Seeds world! They announced a couple weeks ago that all of their albums will be remastered and re-released. Then came the announcement that Iain and Jane, artists and the people who have done most recent videos, would be filming fans at a few locations around the world to talk about the band's songs and what they mean to them, reminiscences, events in their lives relating to the music, etc. The footage will be included on the remastered CDs (and they might make a DVD? I dunno). EITHER WAY - I was all about to apply for the project, as they are coming to NYC, when I checked my mail on the fan page. THEY wrote to ME asking me to be in it personally! I nearly died and wrote back that my answer was a million times yes. I didn't hear from them for a couple of weeks but they got in contact the other day to confirm it with me and everything. They told me the dates for filming have changed to October, right around the time of the NYC show. I will be in Toronto seeing them for some of the days they are here, but they told me they will make sure I get priority when I am able to come. WTF! Priority? These 2 don't even know me but they are going out of their way to make lil' ol' me a part of this project. I am SO EXCITED. I will be immortalized on film, talking about Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' meaning in my life. I have to think about what I shall say - I don't want to look like a moron on camera! Oh but how wonderful this is going to be. Iain and Jane have been really sweet via email so I am looking forward to meeting them. And I do wonder if the band will be present for the filming as they will be in the city at the same time. Part of me hopes they will be but another part of me is nervous about that possibility. Talking about them straight into a camera might be hard enough - but if they are there watching I think I would become a ball of jelly. LOL. Angela has 'applied' and I do hope that they contact her soon because we definitely need to be in this together. I have a very good feeling she will be included. BEST. EVER!



I suppose I better actually do some work, eh?

xxoo kimmy sticks the third

I haven't updated in awhile, I realized today.

We FINALLY know the dates for closing on the sale of the apartment and the purchase of the house! Next week! Tuesday for the co-op and Wednesday for the house. On Wednesday afternoon the house will be MINE ALL MINE! Glorious!! I can't wait. There will be so much to do and buy but it's finally happening and we are very happy.

My tattoo is healed up and looks beautiful. The pic from the day I got it doesn't really do it justice. But I can't take a new photo just yet because my camera is packed away with all my other belongings. Ah well, soon enough!

Here's a photo of me and Mr. Sticks from last weekend. It was hot, sweaty and humid that night but we managed to look decent anyhow. Well, he's making a funny face but it's ok!



And one of me all by my lonesome. I fussed with it a bit in Photoshop as you can see.



ta for now!

xxoo kim

I got my Henry Lee tattoo on Tuesday! Here it is - the photo is from that night so it's reasonably red and a little swollen. The colors are also more vibrant in real life. But I love it!! It's amazing and I am so happy to finally have some Nick on my body forever (ooh la la) XD

I made some jewelriez today:



Portrait necklaces with interchangeable Nicks! Camera phone pic so it's not super-great.